How To Cure The Common Crush
Seven Red Flags You Shouldn't Ignore in Dating: When People Show You Who They Are
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I don’t know people think that there’s so much dishonesty in the dating world. To me, it seems like folks are supremely honest in the first place and we just chose to ignore it. We so special.
See in my limited time on this planet, I’ve learned that many a person will tell you exactly what you need to know about them. And usually they’ll tell you a little bit too much. Which leads me to my point here, there are certain things that when people tell you, you should totally believe them. Here is a surefire list of terms you should not avoid.
1. “I’m crazy.”
Women are way more likely to say this than men are. I’ve had at least 4 different women inform me that they were crazy. And I laughed it off each time only to be proven true each time. And that’s not to say that all women are crazy. But I will say this: being crazy doesn’t mean that you’re a woman. But being a woman does mean that you’re crazy. Look, I know I contradicted myself, I don’t need that now. Two hos and a bottle of rum to the person who can name that reference. The funny thing is that there are women reading this now who will laugh because they know that they’ll tell you they are crazy but because they’re attractive guys will deal with until they get their tires slashed or are forced to watch N-Secure or For Lightskinned Chicas Who Have Considered Comcast When Cox Cable Charged Too Much or any other such Tyler Perry film.
2. “Don’t date my son.”
Any woman that tells you to leave her son alone is either one of two things: 1) crazy (see #1) and afraid to lose her baby and won’t think any woman is good enough; or 2) trying to save you from a lifetime of beatdowns, cheatdowns, and bustdowns. Momma knows, chile. Momma knows. If a mother knows her son ain’t sh*t and feels SO strongly that she’ll tell you, you should heed those words and get the f*ck out of Dodge. But since chicks are crazy (see #1) they won’t. They’ll try to change him or assume that their p*ssy is reupholstered better than any other.
3. “I’m broke.”
If a man is telling you he’s broke, he’s not lying. And do you know how I know he’s not lying? Glad you asked. Since when has telling a woman he’s trying to see naked EVER been advanced by putting forth financial insecurity? Being broke doesn’t lead to panty procurement. In fact, admitting to being broke has been to know to dry up more stank a hairdryer at a gynecologists office. Point is, if a man puts it out there that he doesn’t have money, you should believe him. Coming To America was a movie, not a way of life.
4. “Guys only want to be my friend.”
It’s true. And paco, you’re going to find out why really quickly. Here’s the problem, I have no idea why some women just make good friends and not good girlfriends. But I know one potential statement that might give some indication: “The Mo’Nique Show and Tyler Perry movies are where I get all of my dating advice.” I’m not saying that would make me ask you to go buy me some Doritos for my date (see #3), but it might.Then again, she just might be crazy (see #1) and she wears it proudly – but calls it “keeping it real.” Tupac.
5. “I don’t really read much.”
When somebody says, I don’t read much, they mean I don’t read at all. And you do NOT want to date somebody who doesn’t read. I repeat, you DO NOT WANT TO DATE SOMEBODY THAT DOESN’T READ. Of course that’s only because they won’t be reading VSB where we ride Kanye’s nuts hard moderate Mr. Sobo’s comments talk about the same ole rehashed topics daily soul music is life truth, justice, and the American way are divulged.
6. “I’m a two minute man.”
No man would admit to that even if he was just trying to set the bar low. No man!!!!!
7. “I had s*x with Bishop Eddie Long.”
Too soon?
Well those are six statements you really should believe? Falks, let’s craft the manual. What ELSE should you believe when somebody tells you?
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